Camilla received a call out of the blue from her sister: a Judge had just told her that he was going to take her son (Camilla’s nephew), Dominic, into care. Camilla’s sister, Martina, had relapsed again and a drugs test had revealed Martina had been using illicit substances since her husband passed away nine months ago. Camilla was heartbroken. She had tried to help Martina and had worried about the possibility of her relapsing but Martina had seemed to be coping so well, Dominic seemed to be doing so well…it didn’t make sense.
“I was at my work when I got the call. I couldn’t believe what Martina was saying to me. I kept thinking ‘This can’t be right. Something must have been wrong. I wouldn’t have missed this.’ And then Martina told me that she had given my details to the Social Workers and said I would be able to look after Dominic. I wanted to ask her more, I wanted to help but I didn’t understand but she just said she was sorry and hung up the phone”, recalled Camilla.
It took a few days for Social Workers to call Camilla. She couldn’t reach her sister, no one knew where Dominic had been taken, and it felt like time stood still. By the time the Social Worker, Bunmi, called her, Camilla was angry and felt that all her emotions spilled out during that call. Bunmi sat with her on the phone, reassuring her that her emotions were normal and understandable. They agreed to meet to start a kinship assessment the following week.
Camilla was worried about how she would manage to meet all of Dominic’s needs on her own – he had been exposed to a lot more than she realised and he was going to need a lot of support to recover both physically and emotionally. He had a lot of professionals helping him and Camilla knew that some of these professionals would no longer work with Dominic if he wasn’t in care. She spoke to Bunmi about her worries and Bunmi encouraged Camilla to attend the Kinship Preparation Training to better understand her options and the support available under different legal orders. After the training, Camilla felt she wanted to be a kinship foster carer (also known as a family and friends carer or a connected-persons foster carer).
Bunmi explained the process of going to Fostering Panel to be approved as a foster carer and walked through the process with Camilla. “I wouldn’t have been able to get to Fostering Panel without Bunmi. She was so patient. I felt like I was asking so many questions and I kept getting things mixed up.” After she was approved as Dominic’s carer, he moved to live with her and their journey together began.
“Being a foster carer and an aunt can be confusing. It’s not just simply looking after my nephew - I have to be his aunt who is now like a parent, I had to change my relationship with Martina to keep him safe, and I have to make sure I do all the paperwork and training to maintain my approval each year. It can feel a bit like a job at times”, shared Camilla.
“But every night, when I sneak into Dominic’s room to check on him, I remember that he now sleeps well because he feels safe and he knows he is loved and he is no longer worried about frightening things happening…and I remember that I am the one who has done that for him. I think that’s pretty special”.